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Having Sex With An Older Man

This week, we're talking to Amy Anderson about her experience of dating older men. You can catch My First Time on Acast, Google Play, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.

having sex with an older man

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You might be worried about these changes. But remember, they don't have to end your enjoyment of sex. Working with your changing body can help you keep a healthy and happy sex life. For instance, you may need to change your sexual routine to include more stimulation to become aroused.

For example, if you're worried about having sex after a heart attack, talk with your health care provider about your concerns. If arthritis pain is a problem, try different sexual positions. Or try using heat to lessen joint pain before or after sexual activity.

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Older men who had sex once a week or more were much more likely to experience cardiovascular events five years later than men who were sexually inactive, the study found. This risk was not found among older women.

If the image you have of an older man in bed is influenced by a Viagra commercial, then listen up. There's so much more to sex with an older man than a little blue pill. After enough years of practice, they've got some skills that many of their younger counterparts don't have yet. Sure, some men have natural ability and unlimited patience, but for others, they get better over time.

Some people might see this as a downside, but not me. I've had the minutemen before, and it wasn't even enough to get my motor running. If the sex isn't any good, of course you want it to be over sooner rather than later. But when you've had great foreplay and multiple orgasms, it's not something you want over and done with in a flash. Let them take their time. It's worth it, I promise.

Contrary to popular belief, some older men can have multiple orgasms in one night. With my man, it's not often, and hell, by the time we're usually done with the first, I need a nap anyway. But on those rare occasions when we've got nothing but time and a vivid imagination, it's nice to know that we can each experience multiple orgasms.

Surprisingly, OSA, little investigated for ED, was the health problem most closely associated with it. OSA results from either a loss of muscle tone in throat tissue, or obesity-related excess throat tissue. People with apnea (mostly men) exhibit persistent snoring interrupted by choking silences that temporarily shut down airflow into the lungs. The breathing interruption sets off biological alarms that rouse the person, which restores airflow. But OSA disrupts sleep and reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood. Erection depends, in part, on normal blood oxygen. Apnea reduces it and contributes to ED.

But the tips you should follow are not that different from regular ways to please a man in bed, regardless of age. Nevertheless, there are some tricks that older men might enjoy. You should start slowly or even extend your foreplay throughout the day. Also, older men may need additional stimulation, so you could experiment with sex toys and try to play along with his fetishes.

A recent systematic review demonstrated that frailty increases the risk of future falls in community-dwelling older people, and that this risk seems to be higher in men [18]. In the current cross-sectional analysis, frailty was associated with a history of falls in both sexes in univariate analysis, but after adjustment for other risk factors, it was only significantly associated with falls in women.

ISB can be divided in conventional and non-paraphilic (i.e., sexual interest arise within socially and culturally accepted boundaries), versus unconventional and paraphilic (i.e., sexual arousal that deviates from previous restrictions, for instance, involving children, animals, and non-consenting people) [10].

Referral to specialized psychogeriatric services may be useful, although not always available. A controlled case series comprising 33 patients with behavioral and psychotic symptoms of dementia (including, but not restricted to, ISB) and 22 matched controls compared usual care to individualized assessment and care delivered by a multidisciplinary team, such as a psychiatric nurse with access to older adults psychiatry and geriatric medicine specialists. Access to the multidisciplinary team was effective and associated with less use of psychotropic medications [44].

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) for ISB can include re-education of the patient about social norms, encouragement to explore the intentions behind each behavior in order to address cognitive distortions, and negative conditioning techniques; however, this approach can be challenging in people with significant cognitive impairment [45], and there is a lack of published data.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) are commonly used as first-line agents due to their superior safety and tolerability profile in the elderly [56]. Reported results are inconsistent. Paroxetine 20 mg was used with beneficial effect within 1 week and no substantial side effects in a 69-year-old man with ISB and alcoholic dementia, who had not responded to haloperidol, chlorpromazine, lorazepam, lithium, and nortriptyline [57]. A more recent case report of a 90-year-old woman residing in a nursing home describes treatment failure with paroxetine, whereas a sharp reduction of aggressive and sexually disinhibited behavior was seen with citalopram 20 mg [58]. A similar positive outcome was observed in 85-year-old man with dementia treated with citalopram at the same dose [59]. A 76-year-old person with vascular dementia treated with citalopram did not respond, whereas mirtazapine up to 30 mg was effective [23].

In four males with dementia who had failed to respond to several first-generation antipsychotics and benzodiazepines, a good response was reported for all subjects with trazodone between 100 and 500 mg [61].

The most common side effects associated with the use of SSRIs are gastro-intestinal problems, headache, and hypersensitivity reactions. There is a low but definite risk of serotonin syndrome if prescribed in combination with other serotonergic agents. If discontinued abruptly, some patients experience a withdrawal syndrome.

Tricyclic antidepressants can have troublesome side effects in older people. There is a risk of postural hypotension, which can lead to falls, and anticholinergic effects including constipation, dry mouth, and urinary retention. They can have serious cardiac effects and can be fatal in overdose.

There are two case reports of the use of quetiapine for treating ISB. One was an 85-year-old man with dementia, parkinsonism, and compulsory masturbation to the point of self-harm; he showed no response to hormonal treatment and paroxetine, but symptoms disappeared after using quetiapine 25 mg after just 2 days, and did not recur in a follow-up period of 2 months, with no side effects reported, nor worsening parkinsonism [64]. The second was a 61-year-old woman with Lewy body dementia, who showed a reduction of ISB after treatment with quetiapine titrated up to 75 mg [65].

Side effects of antipsychotics can be very significant. There is a small but definite increased risk of stroke or cardiac events in people with dementia, and this has led to national advice in many countries to avoid their use in dementia wherever possible. Sedation and impairment of cognitive function is common. Atypical antipsychotics can produce weight gain and a metabolic syndrome. Older agents may have anticholinergic effects and more rarely cause dermatological, hematological, or endocrine problems.

Studies evaluating the effects of cholinesterase inhibitors on ISB are conflicting. Two case reports described a reduction of ISB with rivastigmine treatment up to 3 mg [77, 78], although other reports describe the emergence of ISB in patients taking donepezil [79, 80].

Cyproterone acetate (CPA) inhibits the interaction between endogenous androgens and androgen receptors, as well as reducing the biosynthesis of androgens. Effective treatment of ISB with CPA 50 mg was reported in a 60-year-old man with AIDS-related dementia [87]; however, another case report described unsuccessful CPA treatment in a 70-year-old with dementia, with additional numerous adverse effects impacting on mobility [88]. CPA 10 mg was used with beneficial effect in two males with dementia-related ISB that had not responded to treatment with antipsychotic or sedative medication. The behavior re-emerged in both people when attempts were made to reduce the dose [89].

Finasteride is a 5α-reductase inhibitor which inhibits the conversion of testosterone to active dihydrotestosterone. In a case series of 11 elderly men with ISB and vascular dementia, it was successful in six subjects within 8 weeks, while the other five patients required alternative treatments, such as propranolol and quetiapine [90].

In one case report of the use of diethylstilbestrol (DES) in a 94-year-old man who presented with very significant episodes of sexual aggression towards other in-patients, there was a response to DES 1 mg within 3 weeks [92].


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